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Your English is impeccable, if I may say. As is your taste in tea,” I said, as I disappeared into his pantry. We kept talking through the thin, green curtain.“Well, I trained in the UK. In Bath. Ever been?”“Once. Somerset is a bit out of the way for me. I went there to visit the Herschel museum.”“The astronomy museum, right? I had my rooms in that street. So, is Kelly with you here in Saudi?”I practically had a minor stroke as he said that. A Saudi knew about Kelly? I hadn’t even introduced myself as Carstairs!“Uhmm ... No. So you noticed that, did you?”“Ha! Who doesn’t know Mr. Carstairs? You know, I seem to remember hearing they were looking for you. I saw some very funny pictures on Facebook.”“Yeah, it’s ah ... just a few people having fun, I hear.”Up to that point, my main worry had been British expats. I may have done that big Hollywood movie, but even so I’m a virtual unknown outside the UK. There are thousands, no tens of thousands of celebrities out there, many of them. My mother-in-law was always doing this, what was worse was that she was rarely ill enough to warrant the sole attention of Greta and even worse was the knowledge that the woman had three other children, all of whom lived almost on her doorstep Yet it was ALWAYS Greta she called. Rather spitefully I wished the old bat would die as I sipped at my drink and reviewed my plans for the weekend. Thanks to the mother-in-law I'd not see my wife before the Monday and I had no doubt at all that I'd be lucky if I saw my daughter either, I had a long and lonely time ahead of me as I dare not go out on the razzle myself in case Greta rang.That was another trick my mother-in-law liked to pull, she'd get my wife to ring me at odd hours just to check that I was home. I was positive that if I was not in to take one of the calls the old witch would poison Greta's mind with thoughts of me having an affair. My mother-in-law would be only too happy to break up our marriage, she'd been trying for over.
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